Ninety Days

Feeling pretty grounded.  Feeling whole heartedly grateful and humble and relieved to be sober.  To have actually done what I know is the right thing.

All is well with my life.  Bit of a road bump tonight: big – potentially relationship ending – row with GF.  But if it ends, it ends.  I am sober and I will survive.

I am still hopeless at running, a little better at yoga.  Some novel has been written.  My health is improving, I am choosing and enjoying cleaner food (not the greasy fry ups needed to mop up a hangover). Reading blogs, compulsively reading Knausgaard, listening to the Bubble Hour, knitting complicated shawls that no one will ever wear despite them being things of beauty.  Thinking. Taking life slowly.  No big plans.  Not much to show on the surface. An inward vegetable contentment that wasn’t really dented by the ‘home truths’ that were just hurled at me in the row.  

I wonder if my self absorption, born of jealously guarding my sobriety (which I have not made public) has taken its toll on the relationship. 

Off to bed to wake up happy and not hungover on day 91.

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4 Responses to Ninety Days

  1. primrosep says:

    grounded is so, so, good. particularly in exam season, which for me brings thoughts of hot buttered toast and honey. good luck to your girls. 90 days is pretty damn wonderful.

  2. Congrats! Sobriety is looking good on you. 🙂 hope you had an awesome day 91! Hugs.

  3. I love that expression “inward vegetable contentment”. It sums up how I feel most days quite nicely and made me laugh. Congrats on your three months!

  4. Mary LA says:

    Ah, you’re also reading Knausgaard —

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